Thank you, Christopfer, for helping me understand my son who was in prison for 21 years. When he came out he wasn't the same man. Your essay gave in some insight into why he changed so much in a negative way.
Everytime I have sat down and tried to write an email to a publisher I just think to myself how much I'd rather be writing about something I'm interested in and then I go do that instead.
I'm not my best friend when it comes to self promotion in general.
My motto these days is “write as well as I can, as often as I can” and to trust that things will work out on their own.
One more small thing - I see that you are on Thom Hartmaan's show today - he's really good. He has close links with Berrett-Koehler, the publisher - they do all his books. And they'd be a good fit for you, as long as you kept the book short. Ask him about it!
Most of us on the progressive left build our visions on the future on the unspoken premise is that most people are like us - kind, and empathetic. My book The Economics of Kindness: A New Ecological Civilization (due out next month) commits much the same sin, while recognizing that self-importance and power can go to the head, and are the driving principle of many conservatives. We have not - collectively - developed a good analysis of why people support MAGA values, and resist all our lovely ideas for change and reform, so you are doing us all a great service. I read your earlier long essay too, a while back. Are you palnning to turn your work into a full published book? Your personal narrative makes it very real.
Consider interviewing others. I suspect there are many family and work situations that modify each of us. Some adaptation is likely to be positive; others decidedly not. When I watched citizens mobilize in Minnesota (from quite a distance) I was seeing positivity as infectious. The violence of ICE tested that positivity. I expect that the specific situation could bring out the violence in many of us but it appeared most MN protestors were innoculated against it in the visible empathy of others.
This dovetails remarkably with Thom Hartmann’s Substack post earlier today, wherein he asks “Why Are Trump and the GOP Tearing America Apart?” For better or worse, it works for them to do so.
Thank you for the insights about your experience among the incarcerated & their guards--that they both surround themselves and identify with what they need or want to see and be. MAGA provides a powerful model for no empathy.
In my world, context is decisive. Empathy is usually described as a feeling or skill: the ability to understand and share another person's experience. But empathy can also be understood as a context.
A context is the invisible environment through which we interpret reality. It determines what we notice, what we ignore, and how we respond. When empathy is the context, the first question is no longer, "What's wrong with this person?" but "What might this person be experiencing that I don't yet understand?"
That single shift changes everything.
To cause a contextual shift so empathy occurs requires creating a new context in which understanding precedes evaluation. Once that context is present, empathy is no longer an act of effort; it becomes the natural expression of our way of being.
To elicit a change in context, we would need leaders like Gandhi, Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., or the Dalai Lama—people whose very presence invites us to see the world differently. They didn't simply argue for empathy; they embodied a context in which humanity came before ideology, understanding before judgment, and reconciliation before revenge. They changed history not merely by changing minds, but by changing the context from which people thought, felt, and acted.
Hard to spot. There are people who despise empathy, others find it painful. I see Kayan Sherrer taps Buttigieg. I would agree. I might say Talarico but I have not heard him range over as many topics. I hear it in others, like Jasmine Crocket, who seems to live it but rattles others with her strong talk. I happen to like the pairing. Empathy goes well with strong talk. However women who occupy space generally face both women and men who dislike strong speech.
My life's work is unfolding and sharing ways to expand relational capacity. This includes empathy. And more. To do so is to set the field for healing these many fractures we call the poly crisis. Authoritarianism, like patriarchy and ecological abuse, is a relational disease. But doing the deep work of transforming calls us far beyond everyday talk. Who really wants to do what is hard to do? This is a key question.
Some people certainly have that combination of industrious nature and conscientiousness to see that doing challenging things is how we grow into better versions of ourselves. I like to think under the right conditions any human could be brought to that state.
Without question relational growth and resultant wise action is open to anyone. AND, it's possible to give clear attention and energy to the process of increasing relational capacity. With respect for your work, Christopher.
Ditto, the work you do is necessary if humanity will have a future. If we can't address the empathy gap then humankind will, in my opinion, destroy ourselves.
For sure. And the empathy cap forms from self-protecting processes because people are fearful, lost in views that harden self-concept, and striking out or narrowing down rather than question the real nature of their suffering.
Me me me! I want to do it! I will look for your book. I am interested in changing myself out of my extreme social anxiety into being someone who can initiate relationships that help foster empathy.
I, too, appreciate your enthusiasm, Joonbug. There are several books out there, and they all have a strong element of relational development. But the one I'm finishing now is the most precisely on-target for this aspect of relational capacity. It's through a distinctly Buddhist lens, so if that would put you off, I'm sorry. But it's what I've got. Really, it reads, at least to me, as about humankind, not a creed or religion.
I have a memoir covering 7 years + time under supervision and going back on a Parole violation. If an when that is ever published what I saw an heard will be detailed. Until then I try not to rfer to it except when it directly relates. I tried writing about on person I know, a high profile killer who became peaceful through Islam, knew I was a Jew and took care of me and advised me anyway; I did this on another site where I do not have my own space. It was censored. The appeals process was in German and required a link. I tried putting on my own website, got hacked even while I was doing, and then was harassed by actual people outside my house for a while. I will say this much. MAGA and alt-right are prison culture. Police states whether fascist or Stalinist are prisons.
I am glad you found support. I am not surprised that he arrived in an unexpected form. The effects may be more potent when help comes from someone who is "supposed"" to hate you.
Thank you for this. The past ten years have been brutal for me, watching people I know and love fawn over Trump has made me question everything. I am a very sensitive person who can’t understand how people can be loving and caring towards me/family/friends, and then in the same breath support hate and cruelty.
As a fellow Washintonian I can relate. I drove grocery truck for 12 years and delivered to most of the correctional facilities in Western WA. As such I got to know a lot of people who worked there, and your experiences mirrored mine. And later I worked with a Level 3 sex offender who was a prime example of the ones you describe.
With many former law enforcement members in my family I'm impressed that you were intelligent enough to break out of that mold and become what you have. Unfortunately that's not the case with the majority of them.
I think my ability to recognize the situation and break away was in large part facilitated by my family, friends, and life experience.
So much of our belief structures are determined by the beliefs we are closest with and I never felt a kinship with the officers and the entire time knew that the folks working there were often cruel, unkind, and overly certain of their own correctness in nearly all situations.
I just figured I'd be able to show up, perform my duties ethically, keep my head down, and collect a great paycheck.
It's also shows how difficult it is to get workers into those roles who do have more altruistic values!
Gosh Chris: How I love this insight into you and into the psychology of an institution that mirrors and in some ways reproduces our current reality: I have no doubt these dynamics have intensified in the for profit version of this “industry,” and the sources listed are so useful: I often lobby congress persons that current ice dynamics and detention dynamics are not good for employees in these industries, hoping this is a unique enough angle to open them to intervention: it really is only a matter of time before an agent is killed or seriously injured in the current dynamics. Your resources work for that effort.
On a personal note: I worked for a state employment agency for a little while, was very confused by their efforts to attack and decline those who came in. Your description of prison seems similar to their dynamic, right down to faux news . (sad. But true). I guess their job felt like prison to them? Unfortunately for them their jobs were all cut, so they had to go on unemployment, I was gone by then but there was still some feeling of karma. So glad you left that work; as you felt the skewing of your spirit. Important self care, but not always easy to do. Brave!!
Empathy is a foreign concept in Donald Trump's brand of politics. Too often, the same can be said for much of conservative media and those who cheer it on. Cruelty is treated as strength, intimidation is mistaken for leadership, and the suffering of others becomes acceptable as long as it serves a political goal. When compassion is dismissed as weakness, everyone eventually pays the price. As seen in the use of ICE
Yes. Caring about anyone else is its own weakness in up the eyes of many of them. I don't base that on knowing them, but what they do and say are potent indicators or a good act.
Thank you, Christopfer, for helping me understand my son who was in prison for 21 years. When he came out he wasn't the same man. Your essay gave in some insight into why he changed so much in a negative way.
You sharing this means a lot. It's an honor to know that my writing was helpful in any way.
Take care of yourself and I'm sending my best wishes for you and your loved ones.
Too true. I had a student who worked at a prison. He emphasized that there was not much difference on either side of the bars…
This is a really great read, full of personal insights. You need a good publisher!
Appreciate the encouragement, Guy!
Everytime I have sat down and tried to write an email to a publisher I just think to myself how much I'd rather be writing about something I'm interested in and then I go do that instead.
I'm not my best friend when it comes to self promotion in general.
My motto these days is “write as well as I can, as often as I can” and to trust that things will work out on their own.
Thanks again for reading and being here 🌲 🌲 🌲
One more small thing - I see that you are on Thom Hartmaan's show today - he's really good. He has close links with Berrett-Koehler, the publisher - they do all his books. And they'd be a good fit for you, as long as you kept the book short. Ask him about it!
Most of us on the progressive left build our visions on the future on the unspoken premise is that most people are like us - kind, and empathetic. My book The Economics of Kindness: A New Ecological Civilization (due out next month) commits much the same sin, while recognizing that self-importance and power can go to the head, and are the driving principle of many conservatives. We have not - collectively - developed a good analysis of why people support MAGA values, and resist all our lovely ideas for change and reform, so you are doing us all a great service. I read your earlier long essay too, a while back. Are you palnning to turn your work into a full published book? Your personal narrative makes it very real.
I hadn't considered a longer book on the subject but if there's interest I'd definitely consider it.
Writing about my own experience can feel a little vulnerable, which is challenging but can certainly be worthwhile personally and for others.
Consider interviewing others. I suspect there are many family and work situations that modify each of us. Some adaptation is likely to be positive; others decidedly not. When I watched citizens mobilize in Minnesota (from quite a distance) I was seeing positivity as infectious. The violence of ICE tested that positivity. I expect that the specific situation could bring out the violence in many of us but it appeared most MN protestors were innoculated against it in the visible empathy of others.
Have you posted some notes related to your book. I am curious but not as good a reader (poor eyesight)as I used to be.
Not as many as I promise should!
Also, feel free to let me know if there's ever anything I can do to be more helpful for the visually impaired.
Thanks for commenting, Barbara 🌲🌲🌲
Working in some mental health institutions can have the same culture as prisons.
We need to stop calling these people Conservatives, because they are not.
This dovetails remarkably with Thom Hartmann’s Substack post earlier today, wherein he asks “Why Are Trump and the GOP Tearing America Apart?” For better or worse, it works for them to do so.
Thank you for the insights about your experience among the incarcerated & their guards--that they both surround themselves and identify with what they need or want to see and be. MAGA provides a powerful model for no empathy.
In my world, context is decisive. Empathy is usually described as a feeling or skill: the ability to understand and share another person's experience. But empathy can also be understood as a context.
A context is the invisible environment through which we interpret reality. It determines what we notice, what we ignore, and how we respond. When empathy is the context, the first question is no longer, "What's wrong with this person?" but "What might this person be experiencing that I don't yet understand?"
That single shift changes everything.
To cause a contextual shift so empathy occurs requires creating a new context in which understanding precedes evaluation. Once that context is present, empathy is no longer an act of effort; it becomes the natural expression of our way of being.
To elicit a change in context, we would need leaders like Gandhi, Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., or the Dalai Lama—people whose very presence invites us to see the world differently. They didn't simply argue for empathy; they embodied a context in which humanity came before ideology, understanding before judgment, and reconciliation before revenge. They changed history not merely by changing minds, but by changing the context from which people thought, felt, and acted.
I don’t see any such leader in sight. Do you?
Hard to spot. There are people who despise empathy, others find it painful. I see Kayan Sherrer taps Buttigieg. I would agree. I might say Talarico but I have not heard him range over as many topics. I hear it in others, like Jasmine Crocket, who seems to live it but rattles others with her strong talk. I happen to like the pairing. Empathy goes well with strong talk. However women who occupy space generally face both women and men who dislike strong speech.
You are so right and you put it so eloquently. I can think of one that gets pretty close...Pete Buttigieg.
Maybe try changing your focus and look more closely for some leading women.
My life's work is unfolding and sharing ways to expand relational capacity. This includes empathy. And more. To do so is to set the field for healing these many fractures we call the poly crisis. Authoritarianism, like patriarchy and ecological abuse, is a relational disease. But doing the deep work of transforming calls us far beyond everyday talk. Who really wants to do what is hard to do? This is a key question.
Some people certainly have that combination of industrious nature and conscientiousness to see that doing challenging things is how we grow into better versions of ourselves. I like to think under the right conditions any human could be brought to that state.
Without question relational growth and resultant wise action is open to anyone. AND, it's possible to give clear attention and energy to the process of increasing relational capacity. With respect for your work, Christopher.
Ditto, the work you do is necessary if humanity will have a future. If we can't address the empathy gap then humankind will, in my opinion, destroy ourselves.
For sure. And the empathy cap forms from self-protecting processes because people are fearful, lost in views that harden self-concept, and striking out or narrowing down rather than question the real nature of their suffering.
Me me me! I want to do it! I will look for your book. I am interested in changing myself out of my extreme social anxiety into being someone who can initiate relationships that help foster empathy.
Enthusiasm is magnetic, but so is doom and gloom. ddom and gloom may even be easier to perform.
I, too, appreciate your enthusiasm, Joonbug. There are several books out there, and they all have a strong element of relational development. But the one I'm finishing now is the most precisely on-target for this aspect of relational capacity. It's through a distinctly Buddhist lens, so if that would put you off, I'm sorry. But it's what I've got. Really, it reads, at least to me, as about humankind, not a creed or religion.
I have a humanistic outlook not confined to any particular religion. I feel free to borrow what feels right
Thank you. I'll keep my eye out for your latest.
I have a memoir covering 7 years + time under supervision and going back on a Parole violation. If an when that is ever published what I saw an heard will be detailed. Until then I try not to rfer to it except when it directly relates. I tried writing about on person I know, a high profile killer who became peaceful through Islam, knew I was a Jew and took care of me and advised me anyway; I did this on another site where I do not have my own space. It was censored. The appeals process was in German and required a link. I tried putting on my own website, got hacked even while I was doing, and then was harassed by actual people outside my house for a while. I will say this much. MAGA and alt-right are prison culture. Police states whether fascist or Stalinist are prisons.
I am glad you found support. I am not surprised that he arrived in an unexpected form. The effects may be more potent when help comes from someone who is "supposed"" to hate you.
I had no idea Wendy Lawrence was your mother! Her Substack is one of my favorites!
That makes me happy to hear!
I encouraged her to join and am very proud to see my mom get some attention for her brilliant and thoughtful writing.
Wendy is a treasure!
Thank you for this. The past ten years have been brutal for me, watching people I know and love fawn over Trump has made me question everything. I am a very sensitive person who can’t understand how people can be loving and caring towards me/family/friends, and then in the same breath support hate and cruelty.
Best piece ever Chris!
As a fellow Washintonian I can relate. I drove grocery truck for 12 years and delivered to most of the correctional facilities in Western WA. As such I got to know a lot of people who worked there, and your experiences mirrored mine. And later I worked with a Level 3 sex offender who was a prime example of the ones you describe.
With many former law enforcement members in my family I'm impressed that you were intelligent enough to break out of that mold and become what you have. Unfortunately that's not the case with the majority of them.
Sharing with my subscribers tomorrow.
Appreciate you sharing your experiences, John.
I think my ability to recognize the situation and break away was in large part facilitated by my family, friends, and life experience.
So much of our belief structures are determined by the beliefs we are closest with and I never felt a kinship with the officers and the entire time knew that the folks working there were often cruel, unkind, and overly certain of their own correctness in nearly all situations.
I just figured I'd be able to show up, perform my duties ethically, keep my head down, and collect a great paycheck.
It's also shows how difficult it is to get workers into those roles who do have more altruistic values!
Thanks again for the substantive comment 🌲 🌲🌲
Gosh Chris: How I love this insight into you and into the psychology of an institution that mirrors and in some ways reproduces our current reality: I have no doubt these dynamics have intensified in the for profit version of this “industry,” and the sources listed are so useful: I often lobby congress persons that current ice dynamics and detention dynamics are not good for employees in these industries, hoping this is a unique enough angle to open them to intervention: it really is only a matter of time before an agent is killed or seriously injured in the current dynamics. Your resources work for that effort.
On a personal note: I worked for a state employment agency for a little while, was very confused by their efforts to attack and decline those who came in. Your description of prison seems similar to their dynamic, right down to faux news . (sad. But true). I guess their job felt like prison to them? Unfortunately for them their jobs were all cut, so they had to go on unemployment, I was gone by then but there was still some feeling of karma. So glad you left that work; as you felt the skewing of your spirit. Important self care, but not always easy to do. Brave!!
I say Make America Trustworthy Again is a goal.
Empathy is a foreign concept in Donald Trump's brand of politics. Too often, the same can be said for much of conservative media and those who cheer it on. Cruelty is treated as strength, intimidation is mistaken for leadership, and the suffering of others becomes acceptable as long as it serves a political goal. When compassion is dismissed as weakness, everyone eventually pays the price. As seen in the use of ICE
Yes. Caring about anyone else is its own weakness in up the eyes of many of them. I don't base that on knowing them, but what they do and say are potent indicators or a good act.
You don’t have to look far just look at what trump has said paraphrase I don’t think about anyone, etc
He is crystal clear as is Miller. NOEM, Blanche, and the cowards in his party that dont call him out!